June 7, 2016

College Halfway Point Reflection

I wasn't sure what I would write for this, if I would be willing to publish it at all. On August 22nd, I begin my Fall 2016 semester as a junior in college. I have only three semesters left (so really I'm over halfway done with school, which is insane) because I'm graduating a semester early, in December of next year. Am I sad that my time in college is coming to a close? No. Do I regret anything? Maybe. Not really. I don't know.

I feel like my college experience has been—and will end— a somewhat atypical one, though I know that other people surely must feel the same way. I transferred schools after finishing my freshman year at a school in NYC, not because I was homesick or friendsick or familysick or whatever. But because I felt lost. I had changed my major multiple times, which I know is completely fine and normal, but not something I'd ever thought that I would do. I was unhappy and didn't know why. I thought that it had to be the particular school I was at that was making me unhappy, but it turned out to be dissatisfaction with college in general. I had some kind of expectation in high school of what college would be (I can't tell you what exactly the expectation was. More of a feeling, really), and when it turned out to be nothing of the sort, I was very disappointed and became depressed, the details of which I probably won't ever feel comfortable enough to share.  

People will always tell you to enjoy college because it's the best four years of your life, blah, blah, blah. I personally haven't found it to be so. Whenever family or friends ask me how college is going, I say that it's "okay" because it is. I'm taking classes so I can get a degree so I can do what I love. I'm working so I can save money so I can be an actual adult post-graduation. I'm not sad anymore; I've accepted that college is just not for me, and I'm focused on my classes (I'm really excited for the batch I'm taking this upcoming semester), my job, and gaining experience in the field I want to work in. 

In short, I didn't find what I thought I would in college. Instead, I found what I want to do with my life, an excellent curriculum, a great job, some great friends, and good connections, to name just a few things. I'm excited to finish up the next year and a half and see where God takes me after that. 

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